September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

There are some cancer victims who live in heaven now. But there are others who are still here on earth, among us, still fighting for their chance to grow up and live their lives.

Now is the time to focus on those who still have a chance...

Katie - 13th Heaven Anniversary

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20 Years Today

Katie and Sissy

It is hard to believe that Katie was born 2o years ago today!

We recently found the above photo tucked inside a book. These were happy times in spite of illness.

No sickness in heaven. Miss you sweet girl.

Dear Katie from Sissy

This note was written by Shannon to Katie. I found it on her facebook page under "notes." Am stealing it...

Dear Katie, I think about you every day, and I dream about you taking care of me when we were little. I remember everything about you. People tell me that I can’t. That I was too young. But I do. I love you. Just as much now as I did when I could talk to you. And I still do. Talk to you, I mean. When I need a big sister to tell my secrets to. Or when I need advice about boys, clothes, and friends. I complain to you about school, and people who’ve hurt me. Usually I talk to you about God. Because you’ve met him. And I know it’s selfish, sissy. But I wish you were here sometimes. I wish I could have grown up with you. I would have been a much better person if I had. I will always miss you, and love you. And I promise I’ll never forget. Not if I can help it.

Sincerely, your sissy here on the ground

~~~

years months days

memories flooding my soul
green satin dress
pale pink flowers
children singing jesus loves me
you sleeping forever
only seven
why?
twelve years
four months
five days
pain searing
no sudden movement
is possible

memories invading my mind
snow white bean blankie
white baby pillow
tan stuffed lion you called a doggie
you smiling at me
my baby
how?
seven years
two months
six days
heart stopping
taken from me
you’re gone

memories intruding my heart
long blonde hair
big blue eyes
beautiful smile that lit up the room
cold hospital
sweet girl
when?
unknown years
nameless months
indefinite days
meeting again
one fine day
in heaven

for katie by mom

~~~

Loves Like a Hurricane

Twelve years ago tomorrow, we buried our angel Katie. It was a hot Friday summer day. After it was over, Katie's daddy, sissy, and I "escaped" to the beach for a few days. We could not face being home.

Now the anniversary looms again, but what are dates on the calendar, really? Time is going to pass ... and yet I am still going to long for my little girl...

Very often I will turn to music for solace. There is a contemporary Christian song that I have been listening to and it has been giving me comfort these past few weeks. It's called "How He Loves," written by John Mark McMillan. It's been redone several times by other artists but his version is my favorite (because it contains the 3rd verse about his late friend Stephen.)

This is my favorite lyric:

"When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me."

The peace flows through me...

~~~

12 Years Ago...

Tomorrow will mark the 12th anniversary of when Katie went to heaven...

This song explains what she means to me... then, now, and always.

Always an Angel

If you saw me smiling

Your eyes would twinkle and you would laugh

If you saw me crying

You’d say “Mommy don’t be so sad”

If you saw me living

You’d be proud and you’d understand

If you saw me dying

You’d reach down and take my hand

You were always an angel
Now you’re with the Lord
Wish that you could come and get me
And take me home
My precious little girl
Oh I miss you still
Always my angel

When I saw you laughing
I knew you were a happy girl
When I saw you crying
It broke my heart to see you hurt
When I saw you living
Thought you’d always be there for me
When I saw you dying
I knew the cancer had set you free

Always an angel
And I’ll thank the Lord
For the seven years I had you
Until I go home
And see my sweet girl
Oh I miss you still
Always my angel

for katie by mom 2001

~~~