Hope Chest

A Relay For Life update...

Sissy is a member of the Youth Team and for her fundraiser, she is selling raffle tickets for the hope chest pictured above.

Her dad built the chest and it is beautiful. It was her idea to have the word hope on the front. Not just because it's a "hope chest" but because Katie's middle name was Hope.

We are proud of Sissy for her hard work and glad that she still has memories of her sister in her heart.

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Hospital Life

What a long week, full of meetings, at work and also at Sissy's school. I am blessed with a fabulous job with the best co-workers ever. My daughter has a couple of very supportive teachers that are good to her.

When Katie was with us, I had a good job that allowed me the flexibility needed to be at the hospital with her when necessary.

We spent a lot of time at UNC. Above is one of her favorite "works of art." Also, below is a "rambling" that I wrote one night while sitting in her room on the 7th floor.

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At Night

You lie there sleeping peacefully
In your hospital bed
It doesn’t seem fair that you are so sick
Again…
You don’t even realize that you are sick
You don’t let the cancer get you down
You are a miracle child
I sit by your bedside
It’s one a.m.
I am in the dark writing this
Only by the light from the stars
Outside the window
I am so sad tonight
Because I can’t accept the fact
That this time…
Well, you are strong
This is not your first “rodeo”
You play and color and draw
And write cards and notes
For the people you love
Always thinking of others
That is so like you
So brave and wise
Much wiser than I
Smarter than any of us
Please tell me sweetheart
What you dream about
At night
Is it the future, the past
Or just here, just now
Right where you are
I run my fingers through your hair
And it comes out in my hand
Golden curly strands, so beautiful
I can’t stand it, my heart hurts
So I stop
Sit up and clutch the curls to my chest
And think that I’d better keep this hair
Because . . .
I look over at you
You are like an angel, so beautiful
Perfect face
Your blue eyes are closed in slumber
Your smile is still for the night
You clutch your baby pillow
And precious bean bag blankie
What do you dream about
You are only five, Lord, only five
You smile in your sleep
Roll over, reach for me
And I go to you
Good night

for katie by mom
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Heaven's Girl

imikimi - Customize Your World

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

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Trey

There is a little boy named Trey who goes to my church. He is around the same age that Katie was when she was here. Trey has an illness that requires frequent hospital stays, which gives him the frail, haunted look that Katie used to get sometimes.

Tonight at church we learned that he broke his wrist in a fall, so he is in our prayers again.

Every time I see Trey it is like looking at Katie all over again. Sometimes I cry but I don't let him see me. Even though I think he would understand and not think that I am some crazy lady.

This past Sunday, Trey gave me a hug and it made me so happy. His tiny body felt so much like my Kate-Kate's that it was like hugging her again.

Sometimes my sadness still overwhelms me. But only God sees...

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Greater Love

Toddler Katie and Baby Shannon

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

~ John 15:12-13

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The “D” Word

It’s weird how often humans refuse to use the “D” word when it comes to the loss of a loved one.

We prefer to say “she passed away” or “she’s gone to heaven” or “she’s in a better place.” Nobody wants to say “she died” or “she’s dead.”

I have a hard time saying the “D” word. So often in my writings, I can not express Katie’s passing in that way.

So very hard to say the word DEATH. Especially about someone who is still so alive in your heart…

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Mountains and Mustard Seeds

Curly-top Katie in her cowgirl boots!

And Jesus said unto them ... "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
~ Matthew 17:20

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