His Mercy

It's cold outside and there are not many flowers. Miraculously, I saw a yellow one today. Katie's favorite...

He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.
~ Titus 3:5

~~~

Katie & Santa

On this beautiful Christmas night, I just want to pray:

Thank you Jesus, for Katie is with You now and that is much better than even Santa Claus! Give her a kiss from mom and daddy and sissy. Amen.

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale
~~~

Christmas All Year Long

Our Christmas tree

Recipe for Christmas All Year Long

By Joanna Fuchs

Take a heap of child-like wonder

That opens up our eyes

To the unexpected gifts in life—

Each day a sweet surprise.

Mix in fond appreciation

For the people whom we know;

Like festive Christmas candles,

Each one has a special glow.

Add some giggles and some laughter,

A dash of Christmas food,

(Amazing how a piece of pie

Improves our attitude!)

Stir it all with human kindness;

Wrap it up in love and peace,

Decorate with optimism, and

Our joy will never cease.

If we use this healthy recipe,

We know we will remember

To be in the Christmas spirit,

Even when it's not December.

~~~

Katie’s “Alan Jackson Story”

Katie with her Alan Jackson picture and special teddy bear.

One of the things that Katie loved most in the world was country music. My sister would record the CMT channel and we would take the video tapes to UNC. Katie would watch country music videos every waking moment while in her hospital room. Her doctors and nurses became used to walking into her room and hearing the latest country hits by artists like Trisha Yearwood and George Strait.

Katie’s favorite singing star in the whole world was Alan Jackson. She had all of his recordings and knew all of his songs by heart. Her favorites were “I Don’t Even Know Your Name” and “Little Bitty,” which she would sing to the top of her lungs while swinging on the playground.

One January day we were sitting in the waiting room at UNC for Katie’s first radiation treatment. The doctors had already told her that since I would not be allowed in the radiology room, she was allowed to bring a “special friend” such as a teddy bear.

Katie was sitting on the couch, patiently drawing and coloring, her teddy bear by her side. A very nice lady, who was also awaiting treatment, struck up a conversation with us. She asked Katie what was the name of her teddy bear. Katie replied, “Alan Jackson.”

To our delight, the nice lady told us that she had a friend in Nashville who worked for Alan Jackson. She said she would write her friend a letter telling her about the special little fan named Katie in NC. She seemed sincere, so I gave her our mailing address in case he wanted to write back to her.

A couple of weeks later Katie received a package from Nashville containing a picture of Alan Jackson on a motorcycle. He signed it: “To Katie, from your teddy bear. Love, Alan Jackson.” We framed this picture and she took it with her every time we went to the hospital where it was displayed prominently in her room.

About a year and a half later, Katie had to undergo a bone marrow transplant. Before the procedure, she had more radiation treatments. This time not only was she accompanied by “Alan Jackson Bear” and her special photograph, she was also able to take her Fisher Price tape player inside. Since there was a speaker on the outside of the room (to communicate with the patients), we were able to hear Mr. Jackson’s Greatest Hits loud and clear.

One of the technicians proclaimed to be a big country music fan as well and she loved Alan Jackson. She told me that he was going to be in concert in our area that very weekend. She said she would call the local country radio station to dedicate a song for Katie.

A couple days later Katie received a huge Alan Jackson poster and a tee shirt. We weren’t supposed to hang anything on the walls of the transplant unit, but the kind nurses made an exception for Katie. The poster went up on the wall, and Katie wore the tee shirt as a nightgown every single night.

Then one day while we were still at the hospital, the phone rang. A deep male voice said, “May I speak to Katie? This is Alan Jackson.” Needless to say, I was flabbergasted! Katie was lying on her bed, hooked up to morphine, not feeling well at all. I held the phone to her ear so that he could talk to her. He sang “Little Bitty” to my little girl and she smiled for the first time in days.

I spoke to him for a few minutes as well; he told me about his two daughters and how I must be a very strong person to go through my child’s illness. All of this occurred 11 years ago, but those ten minutes or so is one of my best memories with Katie.

Surely Mr. Jackson has reached out to other sick children as well, and I hope he realizes what a wonderful contribution he makes to their lives. To this day he holds a special place in our hearts.

And now… somewhere in heaven, Katie is on a swing, singing as loud as she can: “Might as well share, might as well smile/ Life goes on for a little bitty while…”

~~~

A Sweet Gift

Another love note from my angel...

If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give. ~George MacDonald

~~~

It's Coming On Christmas...

Katie, age 2 ½, December 1993

Katie loved Christmas. One of my favorite quotes from her was: “Christmas is about Jesus and kids - in that order.”

This year will be the 10th Christmas that Katie has been in Heaven. Every year we hang a new angel ornament on the tree to represent her.

Sissy put the Christmas tree up today all by herself and did a really excellent job. Katie would be very proud of the lovely young lady her younger sister is becoming. I know I am.

Dear Jesus, please tell Katie about the 10 blonde and blue eyed angel ornaments we have for her. And give her a kiss from mom. Amen.
~~~

Like There is No Tomorrow

It is the holiday season... Katie loved this time of year.

“Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity. Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.” – Max Lucado

~~~

Giving Thanks

“Nurse Katie” 1996

Today was a very special day of Thanksgiving.

I wrote this for Katie on Thanksgiving Day, ten years ago. Nostalgia brought me back to it today…

*******

This Was My Katie

Katie loved ribs cooked on the grill, cucumbers, cheese toast, butter toast, Apple Jacks, Mt. Dew, BBQ chicken, Mio’s pizza, salad with “orange” dressing, Burger King burgers, “smashed” potatoes from KFC, Pizza Inn buffet, Oodles of Noodles, mac&cheese, ABCs123s, crushed ice

Katie loved pink and purple, she loved flowers, she loved to draw, color, write; she most especially loved to write love notes, oh she wrote love notes every day (she left one in every room for us to find later)

Katie played “doctor” on her baby doll “patients”
Games we played at UNC - Go Fish, Adventure Park, Sorry, Trouble
Favorite videos - The Little Rascals, Casper, Toy Story, “CMT”
Favorite TV show of all time- Rugrats
Most favorite toy in the world - “Doggy”

Katie loved Alan Jackson, The Spice Girls, Hanson; she loved to watch both pop and country music videos; she would sing but only if no one was listening

Katie wanted to be a nurse when she grew up
Katie and Shannon would play store and school and Barbies together
Katie loved me . . .

for katie by mom
~~~

Heritage

A picture by Katie...

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. ~Psalms 127:3

~~~

Happy Halloween!

Kate-Kate & Sissy
Halloween 1996

I love this picture of my girls.

Hold on, man. We don't go anywhere with "scary," "spooky," "haunted," or "forbidden" in the title. ~From Scooby-Doo
~~~

HOPE

Sissy wrote this essay for school. It is very profound and I am proud of her. Although she touches on some very sensitive issues, these are HER words and life as SHE sees it...

*******

Hope

What’s in a word? Something deeper than a knowing, an understanding of fate. It’s a blind faith in oneself or the world. And reason to believe that with no proof, no jurisdiction, life will move on, time will heal, and tomorrow will magically be better. A belief is an idea taken as truth. A persona of something deeper than death, deeper than grace and redemption. My belief surpasses the very meaning of the word; it surpasses the foundation of my life and my world. It defines me to the essence of my existence. It explains why I continue moving, breathing and keeping up. I believe in hope.

Starting with my older sister, Kaitlin Hope, otherwise known as Katie. A brilliant, bold and bright little girl. The only seven-year-old brave enough, smart enough to impact absolutely everyone she came into contact with. The only seven-year-old whose eyes and smile were light and open enough to draw attention away from her fragilities and bald head. Katie was not about to let cancer rob her of the joy that she lived and gave to others daily. She was born an angel, filled with compassion, laughter and love. And she continued her legacy. She passed away as the only seven-year-old who knew exactly how to be a sister, daughter and friend.

“Hope” started forming a pattern in my life. And only recently have I noticed it. Kindergarten brought the introduction of Jonah into my life. Jonah brought grace to my clumsiness and an understanding of my circumstance. He showed a simple joy that I needed at the time. He was there for me in a way no hired specialist with their fake empathy and quasi smiles could be. Years passed, and I grew accustomed to Jonah’s striking ability to lift a sour mood. I took for granted the kindness he showed me. The forgiveness he gave. I never thought of how bonded we were. How, despite everything falling around me, I could take refuge in the fact that he wouldn’t leave. But one stormy August day my world fell for the second time in my short dreary lifetime. I remember listening to the speech his brother gave, picturing them lowering Jonah’s body into the ground. “For a moment all hope is gone.” An anvil balances itself on my shoulder. “But it's looking past that moment; to the hope Jonah left us with. The hope he'd given each and every one of us. The same hope we need now to move on.” I did as he said. Looking past the helplessness, trying wholeheartedly to regain the hope Jonah had given me. And I did. A wary, broken hope. But a hope, nonetheless.

Years passed, and the arrival of another angel struck understanding between the diverse members of my family. A beautiful, gleaming baby girl. Sophia Hope, the daughter of my loving and sweet cousin Erica and her equally sincere husband Josh. Being diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis hasn’t dampened the love Sophia’s family shows openly for her. Nor has it afflicted the pride I, along with the rest of our family, have in this beautiful and courageous little girl. I remember hearing of how small Sophia was when born, and how short the estimated life span given by doctors had upset her mother. But what I remember, above anything, is my cousin’s will to persevere, the will to fight for the health of her precious baby girl. In time Erica’s hope grew, along with her child. Now, another year or so later, nothing could possibly hinder the almost two-year-old Sophia Hope from her playing. To the naked eye, Sophia seems perfectly healthy, happy and at ease. But to the trained eye, the eyes who know her weaknesses, Sophia looks nothing less than a miracle.

I’ve been asked of my belief in politics, in religion and other pointless matters. I’ve been asked to prove myself. To prove the idealism of my beliefs and how they stand so much taller than others. I’ve been asked why I believe so deeply in God, and the abilities of mankind to finally get back to good. But not once have I been asked what I believe. Not without a specific demeanor attached. Not once have I been approached with the opportunity to express such a broad range of thoughts and notions. And after long, endless days and nights of searching, I’ve found what I believe. Not because I’ve been given evidence of its existence, or a file or formula of what it is and how it’s made. Not just because I’ve seen it, lived it, kept it all these years. I believe in hope, not because I want to, but because I have to. Because I need hope, we all need hope. Just to survive.

~~~

Fall is Almost Here

Katie's artwork

Autumn has almost arrived, and I love this season - the nip in the air, the falling leaves from the trees. I wrote this poem for Katie one fall a few years ago. It is a true story about something special that happened...

*******

The Dancing Leaf

Missing my angel more than usual
Aching with a despondency
That could not be eased
I walked and walked
Hoping that I would reach
The destination
Of peace
I sat down under a tree
It was hot for autumn
No wind stirred
Wiping a tear from my eye
I looked up
And noticed a little golden leaf
Suspended in mid-air
Twirling, dipping, spinning
Around and around
The golden leaf danced
Up it rose as if trying to find its way
Back home to the branch
From which it fell
Then down again
Twirling, dipping, spinning
Around and around
The golden leaf danced
I watched, mesmerized
Then I smiled
Looked up and said
Thank you for the visit

for Katie by mom
~~~

If You Believe

Beautiful Katie, age 3 1/2

Many people have asked this question: "How do you go on?" My answer: "How do I not?"

"Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right." – Max Lucado

~~~

A Song for Sissy

Today is my birthday so it's all about me! :-)

Was feeling nostalgic in my "old age" and wrote this for Sissy...

*******

Mine

What a surprise you were
Baby girl number two
Thought you were a boy
The whole time I carried you
What a delight I knew
The first time I held you
Rocked you all day long
And sang little songs to you
And even though God gave you life
You were mine

Oh how the years they flew
So many tears we shed
Too much pain to even bear
You were just a little girl
Oh how your strength pulled me through
Couldn’t make it without you
You held our family near
Just a child but wise beyond years
And even though I had my own life
You were mine

What a surprise you are
Standing here a lady now
Almost all grown-up
So beautiful and proud
Oh how my heart fills up
When I think of how far we’ve come
To get to this place
It’s been an adventure for sure
And even though you have your own life
You are still mine

a song for sissy by mom
~~~

August 15, 1995

Sometimes I wish that dates on the calendar did not loom so large... today marks the "anniversary" of the day we discovered that Katie had cancer.

Days like this make me melancholy. However, instead of embracing the grief, today I am going to look back on the joy that Katie brought to everyone who knew her.

The joy that filled her heart was so evident, such as in the picture above, of Katie and her "bling." She loved to dress up with play jewelry and be a "girly girl."

What a beauty she was!!

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. ~John 14:27

~~~

Summertime Nostalgia

One of the best times we had as a family was our beach vacation. Many years have passed but I still remember the first time my girls saw the ocean.

Days come and go. Seasons ebb and flow. Every sunrise which becomes a sunset whispers the secret, "Time will take your sandcastles." ~ Max Lucado

~~~

Toddler Times

Katie says "TA DA" at age 14 months. Way before the word "neuroblastoma" became a part of our daily vocab. Below is a song that I wrote for her back then; she would get a kick out of it when I sang it to her...

*******

When Katie Smiles

When Katie smiles
The whole world smiles it seems.
I love to see her eyes
When she wakes up from a dream.
When Katie sings
The whole world sings along,
And nothing is sweeter
Than my baby’s song.
When Katie smiles . . .

When Katie loves,
She loves with all her heart;
I knew that from the moment
They laid her in my arms.
When Katie laughs,
It’s heard all around the world,
And nothing’s more precious
Than my little girl.
When Katie loves . . .
When Katie smiles . . .

for katie by mom

~~~

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July! I wonder if Katie can see the fireworks from heaven?

~~~

“Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” (Eskimo proverb)

~~~

The Graduate

Katie - Kindergarten Graduation Photo

What a happy day this was!

"I thank my God
in all my remembrance of you."
Philippians 1:3

~~~

Remember Me

This poem was written on Katie's five year Heaven Anniversary.

*******

Remember Me

Heaven’s children were all outside to play
But one little girl was very quiet today
Jesus opened His arms and smiled
He said, come sit and talk to Me awhile
She looked at Him with the biggest eyes of blue
She said, I really love being here with You
I can run and play and sing and dance and laugh
But sometimes I wonder where my family’s at

And do they remember me?
It’s been a long time now, you see
It was five years ago today
That I came to heaven to stay
Do they know that I still love them
And I’ve prayed for their hearts to mend
It’s been an eternity . . .
Do you think they remember me?

Jesus smiled as He took her little hand
He said come with Me - you will understand
They sat side by side together on a cloud
He whispered, watch and see and you will be proud
She bowed her curly blonde head and looked down
She saw her family in the rain, all gathered ‘round
There were pink and purple flowers at the graveside
Her mother looked up to the sky as she cried

Do you remember me?
It’s been a long time now, you see
It was five years ago today
That you went to heaven to stay
Do you know that I still love you so?
And I never wanted you to go
It’s been an eternity . . .
Do you remember me?

The little girl looked at Jesus and smiled
We’ll all be together in a little while
Until then, can we please go back and play
And could we send a little sunshine their way?
With a wave of His hand, the rain was gone
And a beautiful sun brightly shone
Her family looked up to the sky with awe
There were two rainbows . . . one big and one small

I know you remember me
There is no time in heaven, you see
Though it was five years ago today
That you went to heaven to stay
You know that we all love you
And we know that you love us, too
Heaven is eternity . . .
And I know you remember me

for katie by mom

~~~

Promised Patience

Katie's artistic rendition of being a pediatric cancer patient. Notice that in spite of being hooked up to IVs, there is a smile on her face. She showed all of us the true meaning of valiance.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
~ 2 Peter 3:9

~~~

A Decade... How Can it Be?

Ten years ago today, Katie went to heaven to live with Jesus and the angels.

Here is a song that I wrote for her today…

~~~

For Good

Sitting alone just feeling blue
In a world of missing you
And I need for something to happen
That’s good
I pray to God and beg Him please
Send down some relief for me
‘Cause my heart is breaking like
You’re gone for good

I know you’re in heaven fair
They’re so lucky to have you there
But I need for something to happen
That’s good
Please tell Jesus to send my way
A rainbow to brighten my day
You know my heart is breaking
Because you’re gone for good

How can it feel so bad
After all of these years
I could drown myself
In this river of tears
I wish that I could spend
Just one more minute with you
It would make me feel
So good

How can ten years come and go
When my life here seems so slow
Oh I need for something to happen
That’s good
I need that angel to bring you back
Oh how I wish she could do that
Please my heart is breaking
I know you’re gone for good

All I can do now is close my eyes
And get a picture in my mind
And I think that something will happen
That’s good
To keep in mind I’ll see you again
Somehow makes this pain my friend
Although my heart is breaking
You’re not really gone for good

How can it feel so bad
After all of these years
I could drown myself
In this river of tears
I wish that I could spend
Just one more minute with you
It would make me feel
So good

Yes, I wish that I could spend
Just one more minute with you
My angel
It would make me feel
So good

for katie by mom

~~~

Dear Lord, please give Katie a hug from us. She is blessed to have You.

~~~

Happy Father's Day

Picture from DonnaBellas.com

A Little Girl Needs Daddy

A little girl needs Daddy
For many, many things:
Like holding her high off the ground
Where the sunlight sings!
Like being the deep music
That tells her all is right
When she awakens frantic with
The terrors of the night.
Like being the great mountain
That rises in her heart
And shows her how she might get home
When all else falls apart.
Like giving her the love
That is her sea and air,
So diving deep or soaring high
She'll always find him there.

~Author Unknown~

Jesus, please tell Katie that her dad still misses her every day and he loves her very much.

~~~

Suddenly... It's Summer

When summer finally came and decided to stay awhile, it unpacked its suitcase! It is so hot here in NC, in a sweltering way.

Katie loved summer: splashing in a kiddie pool, chasing butterflies, drawing a hopscotch, helping in Nana's flower garden, rolling in the green grass with her little sis.

Above is a drawing of Summer from Katie's viewpoint. Also, I wanted to share another poem; it is long but tells our story...

*******

Summer Day

Summer day, life is lovely
We’re going to see the ocean
Bags are packed, gather the family
Let’s put this dream in motion

But wait . . . just a quick stop
At the doctor’s for a test
Our four-year-old has been sick
So let’s put our fears to rest

No wait . . . what did the doctor say
Did she just say “cancer”
We have to go to the hospital now
That’s where we’ll find an answer

Oh wait . . . what about our trip
What about our hopes and dreams
We’re just a normal family of four
Now it’s falling apart at the seams

Autumn day, life is busy
We’re going to the 7th floor playroom
Hospital days are long and tiring
Surgery’s over, now it’s chemo

But wait . . . just a quick prayer
Please make my baby well soon
Lord, you can heal a little girl
You hung the stars and the moon

No wait . . . I won’t beg You
But could You give it to me instead
Why is she the one who’s sick
It should be me in that bed

Oh wait . . . I’ve got to be strong
Just half as brave as she
Look at her playing “doctor”
She’s as amazing as can be

Winter day, life is precious
Look at all the gifts
Never seen so many presents
We made everyone’s Christmas list

But wait . . . the best gift of all
Is seeing her smile and play
And loving everybody so much
Growing stronger every day

No wait . . . oh please not again
We’ll face this trial together
And just like the time before
We pray she will get better

Oh wait . . . things are looking good
So much to look forward to
She’s going to kindergarten
She’ll be a school girl soon

Spring day, life is crazy
We finally saw the ocean
Wishes really can come true
Love is the magic potion

But wait . . . something else is wrong
Her little body is tired
Chemo’s done both good and bad
Dialysis will help for awhile

No wait . . . look at her pretty face
She wants to laugh & draw & play
Someone who is so full of life
Just can’t be in any pain

Oh wait . . . she makes everyone smile
Full of love & joy & grace
Sweetest heart I ever knew
Beautiful angel face

Summer day, life is painful
We had to let her go
The angel came and it was over
Most heartbreaking hurt I know

But wait . . . I’m not ready to say
Good-bye to my little one
Lord, You know that I can’t live
Another day, I can’t go on

No wait . . . You said You’d comfort me
Give me peace to face tomorrow
And to serve her memory well
To live beyond the sorrow

Oh wait . . . isn’t that her spirit
That lives inside us still
She gave more in seven years
Than many of us ever will

Summer day, life is lovely...

for katie by mom

~~~

Thrones, Powers, Rulers

Sassy Katie with Mickey

The Make-a-Wish Foundation sponsored our trip to Disney World in 1996. One of the souvenirs was the treasured Mickey Mouse that is cuddling with Katie in the picture above. As delightful as the amusement park was, I often wonder just how much more exciting heaven is...

For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him. ~ Colossians 1:16

~~~

A Great Fundraiser

As always, Relay for Life was an awesome and heartwarming event! Sissy and I are very tired. The hope chest that her daddy built was won by a friend of mine from work, someone who is very special to both Sissy and me. See how GREAT GOD is??? We love and thank HIM for everything. Gotta get some rest now... below is a simple poem about some of the things that remind me of Katie...

~~~

i miss you

and I know that I have to make this walk
without you now
even though I do not want life to go on
I feel you everywhere I go
and I cry at the oddest things
like a cucumber cut in long skinny slices
or a picture of Alan Jackson
a pair of black “Buckle” shoes
or Tweety Bird panties
like a 100 wrote with smiley faces
a pink or purple magic marker
like a sliding board on a playground
or a “midget” bottle of Mt. Dew
like a strand of IV tubing
or a Rugrats cartoon
like a sunset
or a moon
oh God how I miss you girl
oh God how I miss you
please someone help me
understand
I know that I have to make this journey
without my little girl
but I don’t want to

for katie by mom
~~~

Celebrate. Remember. Fight Back.

Today is the annual Relay for Life event, which is both dreaded and welcomed at the same time. Although it is very important to me to help raise money for cancer research, I always get very melancholy during this time.

Katie would want me and her sissy to be there so we will... so many memories await but we will get through them. An angel taught us how to be brave!

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.
~ Luciano de Crescenzo

~~~

The One Still Here

Sissy and Kate Kate

Today is Shannon's birthday. Katie would be so very proud of the sweet, beautiful girl that her little sis has become. I am a very blessed mom indeed. One daughter in heaven and one still here with me. Thank you God.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ~ I John 4:7

~~~

Very moving...

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

~Dalai Lama

~~~

Surrounded by Your Glory...

Am sitting here in the early morning hours, preparing to get my work day started. I like to listen to contemporary Christian music and often will have it playing softly in the background while I work.

My very favorite song is “I Can Only Imagine” by MercyMe. This song makes me cry every single time I hear it, because the words are so beautiful.

Even though I enjoy the MercyMe version the best, the Amy Grant rendition of the song (called “Imagine”) is good also. It’s been covered by several other musical artists and the song’s legacy lives on forever.

When I hear this song, I picture my Katie safe in the arms of Jesus, surrounded by His glory.

~~~

Impossible Things

Queen Kate-Kate. Inside the magical playhouse at Give Kids the World village.

"There is no use trying," said Alice. "One can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

~ Lewis Carroll

~~~

Happy Mother's Day

Photograph by Laura Monahan

My favorite Mother’s Day story… some web sites say that this is by Erma Bombeck and others claim that it’s Author Unknown.

*******

A Child's Angel

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God -

Child: They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?

God: Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.

Child: But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile; that's enough for me to be happy.

God: Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy.

Child: And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?

God: Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you to how to speak.

Child: And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?

God: Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.

Child: I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?

God: Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.

Child: But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.

God: Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way for you to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could be already heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly -

Child: Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.

God: Your angel's name is of no importance. You will call her, MOMMY.

~~~

In Heaven

Katie, age 6

*******

In Heaven

The doctors say you have to go away
To a place where there is no more pain
But before I can begin to let you go
There are some things that mommy has to know
Like, who’s going to rock you in heaven

Who is going to rock you in heaven
Who is going to hold your little hand
When bad dreams come, and you are scared at night
Who’ll be there to love and understand
And who will rock you in heaven

A big girl now, seven years old, and so wise
But sometimes late at night we compromise
Just you and me in the dark, nobody stares
When we get out that big old rocking chair
But who will rock you in heaven

Who is going to rock you in heaven
Who is going to catch you when you fall
When you are sick and hurting and alone
Who’ll be there to answer when you call
And who will rock you in heaven

The angels spoke to me in my dreams
They said, this is not as painful as it seems
For we will not let her walk all alone
When it is time for her to come home
The angels will rock her in heaven

The angels will rock her in heaven
And we will hold her little hand
No bad dreams, no sickness, and no pain
There is no cancer is our land
And we will rock her in heaven

The angels are going to rock my little girl
In heaven

a song for katie by mommy
~~~

GKTW

If you see this logo, please know that it is very important. Give a dollar or two. Special kids are treated like the angels they are because of this organization.

One day I will tell you about the special trip that we took to Disney World; we stayed at the GKTW Kids Village.

One day...

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
~Mother Teresa

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Peaceful...

imikimi - Customize Your World

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. ~ Nahum 1:7

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Blooming Love

photo by cutecolors.com

“Bloom Where You are Planted”

This is one of my favorite sayings. I have it hanging on the wall at home and at work. What it means to me is that we are supposed to make the best of every situation we are in, no matter where we are. Specifically, we are to shine bright for God.

Katie spent all of her seven years on earth by this motto. She set a good example for me…

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Had to Let Her Go

Sweet Katie, seven years old...

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A Plea

We had a little Kate-Kate

We had to let her go

I am so lonely for her now

Try not to let it show

I hurt so bad, so bad inside

Feel like I’m gonna die

I miss her oh so bad, so bad

Please God, oh tell me why

You took my baby up to You

I know she’s by your side

But oh God, give me comfort

Some peace that will abide

Tuesdays are unbearable

That’s when the pain is worse

Fridays are unbelievably sad

That’s when we buried her

Oh God, please God, oh hear me

I am crying out to You now

I am so sad, so achingly sad

Bereavement is not proud

We had a little Kate-Kate

We had to let her go . . .

for katie by mom

~~~